Three abreast

Wrapped my evening sewing project around my body and made way for Destiny, my old computer tucked away in the little white studio room. This evening I altered a wonderfully old twin blanket cover to fit my small square down duvet. Splashes of orange floral with bits of teal on white. Just right. It felt wonderful to sew contentedly in the kitchen while four dudes hooted and hollered at the hockey game on tv in the next room over. I thought of Chanel ma belle as I worked. Sewing is so simple and so tricky at the same damn time. Practical art, respect.

Quieting the mind at the edge of sleep was no easy task tonight. Reflecting upon the course of my Saturday kept sleep far at bay. Coffee didn't help this old girl. Today was one of those really good SaTURDays. You know the kind. Woke early to a brunch invitation. I made my way comfortably through the bright blue cold of morning to pick up black beans and kale on route to the hostess' home across the Red River. What a treat to be handed a Little Sister coffee upon arrival. Andrea, Natalie and I traded places at the stove in a slow dance and our meal came together easily. Three great cooks, one great spread. Minus one Lisa. We enjoyed gently poached eggs, salty steamed kale, zippy black beans, a side of beets, fried potatoes, a beautiful pink smoothie, more coffee. More coffee. More coffee.

After our meal, we moved around Andy's new home while Natalie worked with her new medium format baby. Portraits of wool clad women in a damn cold sunroom were had. We eventually rebundled and walked back over the river pushing north. Cutting through neighborhoods and shooting some photos, we suddenly became spectators of a funny game of shinny happening in the parking lot behind the Sherbie where the age of players ranged from 3-60. Awesome. Winnipeg, you're good stuff. We strolled to Old House Revival from there and I came away with that blanket cover, a wooden spaghetti rake for Craig (I lost his) and four buttons to replace the one that got away from my overcoat.

Meandered home alone and was greeted by Modest Mouse blasting through the house. Musical vibrations. Craig was in the darkroom zone finishing up my last few prints for Terry and Myrna's wedding (bless his soul) and I got to work compiling the album once and for all. Cut paper, hole punch, stencil attempt, chucked that, mount mount mount! There was an impressive piece of pork slow-cooking on the counter that made my mouth water just thinking about it. That guy has really upped his game in the kitchen. Much to my delight, Craig roasts meat weekly. We would be a goner without that slow cooker. Invest! Balanced flavors, tender cuts, good work all around for minimal effort. Took a break from the wedding work to sew and make our bed nice, guzzled more coffee and then back at 'er. Work until delirious. Bed. Can't sleep. Write.

I see the light now. It's good to feel free in the dead of Winter.

Shot in another life, the day that Winter broke. Winnipeg/ 2010

Pleine lune

My favorite page from a favorite book, torn out and scanned at home.

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Moon, I'm feelin you. Large and in charge this cycle, you are. Day before yesterday as the moon filled out above, I stood still on the very western side of the city and watched the sky fade gently from pink to blue. Nice view. It was beautiful. Earlier today I stood on a snow hill with a baby strapped to my body, face to the sun soaking up the last rays of day around 4:00 pm. What a luxury to chase the light at my leisure in such good company as the Jackal. 

Feelin' ready as the orb above. 

For what? 

Life. 

It's still January. How glorious. Today I ran right into many characters I haven't seen in a long while. Socializing in the dark of winter this evening felt equivalent to the excitement of a rare dance with a strong lead. Connections and laughter sparking in the crisp night air. Amy inspired the artist in me after our first sip to pick up my laid down work. Whatever it is, pick it up. Negatives, fabric, xacto, spray paint. Freelance work is right there, readily available so long as it's in me to GO. FOR. IT. 

It. 

It. 

It!

Ain't nothing to it. Follow your leader, Madge. Just like the coniferous you love.

ALWAYS BET ON YOURSELF.

NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOUR WORTH.

Inspirational quotes for the home fridge. I am turning into my mother. What a treat! Dial M for mother. In other news, SENSITIVE SHREDDERS. 

I am so proud of my Montreal homies Simon, Steve and Ben. No words necessary. Proud hen. Now let me direct you to their new skate video. Introducing, Sensitive Shredders. Miss yous.

Winterlude

This is my aging face, 2014.

interlude |ˈintərˌloōd|noun

1/  an intervening period of time : a pause between the acts of a play.

2/  something performed during a theater intermission : an orchestral interlude.

3/  temporary amusement or source of entertainment that contrasts with what goes before or after : the romantic interlude withered rapidly once he was back in town.

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Thank you kindly Dictionary. Definition numero 3 is the perfect descriptor for the winter getaway I just experienced. Temporary amusement. While sitting alone with slippered feet and long-johned body in front of a roaring woodstove fire, Craig's phone cradled in a cup on a shelf nearby suddenly launched into Bob Dylan's Winterlude, a funny song from Dylan's 1970 album New Morning. Well. How fitting. Having never heard it before, my smile grew as the lyrics filled our home for the night. Craig, having just stepped out to smoke thoughtfully in the dark, left just Bob and me by candlelight, bobbing appreciatively to the sounds of the night. Coyotes, wind, chimney, QUIET.

We took a weekend Winterlude to test out Craig's latest Skidoo snowmobile project (he wrenched December away while I printed up a storm) and to make a much needed breakaway from our city limits. Whiskey, beer, fire cooked breakfast, yelling for each other across the landscape we both love. My kind of holiday. I snowshoed in with a loaded sleigh like a determined animal and he bombed valleys and blasted through drifts on his flying machine. Goodness how I love his big dumb grin. We were each grinning by the time Sunday rolled in, for different reasons. It's good for my sanity to stand buck naked in a snow covered valley once in a while. 

Here are Dylan's lyrics which made me smile slowly.

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Winterlude, Winterlude, oh darling
Winterlude by the road tonight
Tonight there will be no quarreling
Everything is gonna be all right
Oh I see by the angel beside me 
That love has a reason to shine
You're the one I adore come over here and give me more
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're fine.

Winterlude, Winterlude, my little apple
Winterlude by the corn in the field
Winterlude, let's go down to the chapel
Then come back and cook up a meal
Well, come out when the skating rink glistens
By the sun near the old crossroad sign
The snow is so cold but our love can be bold
Winterlude, don't be rude please be mine.

Winterlude, Winterlude, my little daisy
Winterlude by the telephone wire
Winterlude, it's making me lazy
Come one, sit by the logs in the fire
The moonlight reflects from the window
Where the snowflakes they cover the sand
Come out tonight everything will be tight
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're grand.

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January, what a swift and comical month you are. I have been working like a dog in the darkroom most evenings and weekends, trying to pull off the print production of my lifetime for the wedding I shot solo early December. Solo shooting, solo printing. While I miss the company of my partner in crime in our darkroom, I have been enjoying my solitude. It is nonstop, blaring loud Guided By Voices, pretzels aplenty and bottomless tea down there. Printing during what felt like the endless December coldsnap in an uninsulated stone basement was interesting. Seven layers of wool with slippers and sheepskin mitts on during long exposures hardly held a candle to -50. Such is life. Gotta work! My days feel rather long lately despite the sinking winter light. Darkness compliments the darkroom process. On the bright side of January, this print project is coming together beautifully (as any project tends to when working with consistency in mind). I am nearing the point where I can begin building the couple their long awaited wedding album, my favorite part. Black antique photo album, black photo corners, black and white photographs on satin paper with a slim white border. 

Time consuming and timeless, this is my work and I am proud of it.

The Jackal

And then like magic, there was Jackson. He is sweet as pie, curious and more determined than any eight month old babe I have ever encountered. Frog child! Looking forward to a new year with him on my hip. Jackson, you are my bread and butter. That I like.

*Kiev 60/ 120 Tmax 400

Leopard on the loose

At the beginning of December, I took a quick trip to Toronto to visit my beloved Leopard child and his parents Matt and Colette at their new home. They were delightful hosts and encouraged much wine drinking, bathing, leisure walking, dress up at the AGO, fine dining and wooden track train play. We had a lovely time together exploring their neighborhood and beyond. I think the best part of all were the many conversations Leo and I shared on the floor, over the tub, in the pram, at the park. That little baby has grown and grown into his own little person WHO SPEAKS. He talks and he talks! Listening for the first time to Leo tell his mama all about his day (in full sentences) as she pulled on his boots at his daycare made me grin from ear to ear as tears coursed over my cheeks. It had been many moons since feeling as profoundly moved as I was reuniting with Leo on a Friday afternoon. I will never forget the moment he asked me point blank to explain my weeping. Tears of joy my friend, tears of joy.

Here are some photos I shot during our time together on expired Fujicolor 800 with the old faithful Nikon F3. Wonky exposure, such is life.

Enjoy.

I love you Leo, you're some kind of wonderful. You sure softened my soul after a rough start to December.
Love you always, Meme

Tree Chop

Here are some recordings of my first ever tree chop alongside Craig's family; one of many lovely Dueck traditions I am thrilled to participate in. That shot of Craig with his dad and brother Keith just gets me right in the heart. Good guys they are. A just-right pine tree was carefully selected, bound and hauled home from the countryside in the pickup truck and then planted in the middle of our home. It smells real good up in here.

Salty Dog

Stone cold drunk and in love. Winnipeg / Halloween 2013.

Was there a cloud covered full moon on Sunday? That would explain a few things. It has been a difficult week, but after x numbered attitude adjustments and a hard lesson on Letting Go, I am well. Got my health! Got mobility! Got a good guy who brings me strong tea when my face is long and words are few. Trim the fat? Such is life. It is definitely a desperate time of year for many and I am trying very hard to be grateful for all of the precious people in my life. Attitude is everything.

Moving on!

There is a new boy in my life. His name is Jackson and he is definitely a frog. Freshly seven months old. I love him already.

In other news, Craig and I made the annual midnight trek to pick up a new snowmobile last night. We may be poor, but we have fun. We had so much fun on his old beater Skidoo winter project last year. This time we upgraded to a '78 440 Skidoo mountain sled. A mountain sled for a coupla' prairie rats, go figure. Long track for deep snow (something which Manitoba has plenty of already). I will leave the mechanic-speak to the mechanic in my life but I am thrilled at the prospect of another winter season of hysterical laughter while we bomb through deep snow trying to find that buried shack in the woods. I also scored a beautiful pair of second hand cross country skis day before yesterday. There is always good to be found. He will break trail and I will break sweat. We will be fine. Last night my sister Erin sent me a thoughtful quote--

The cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears or the sea. 

Amen sister.

Loss < Gain!

Here is some new work from a recently processed roll of Tmax 400. Halloween mayhem hosted by Marvin HQ and a mid-work wall hanging thrown in for good measure. Enjoy.

Brad all dolled up for Halloween. Winnipeg / 2013

Western Pat. Winnipeg / Halloween 2013

I made this rose wall hanging for Terry & Myrna's Nov. 30/13 wedding. It came out well (3x8' on canvas w black paint) thanks to lots of room to work. One half of the basement holds the laundry/darkroom and the other is storage/ workspace.

99 Years In Jail

Trying hard to be normal.

Mystery roll dosage.

An expired roll of Delta 100 hanging around inside the Olympus 35-SP rangefinder finally surfaced after a homey chemistry dip and hang dry after work last Wednesday. I lazily scanned what looked worthy and here is what came out: soft focused family pictures of my people, The Kroekers (plus a married Thiessen and a dating Dueck). Gaggle of Mennonites on a leafy Sunday. We took a Thanksgiving stroll to Richardson Park together to digest dinner and my cousin Jen kindly shot these laughingly while her man shot our digital portraits proper to fill my mother's annual holiday card quota. I prefer the soft film result. Awkward hands Madge over here. I never know what to do with my hands in front of the camera. Hand me a camera! Good memo to remember as I gear up to shoot a lovely couple's winter nuptials in Winnipeg tomorrow. A brunch wedding, how lovely. What else came out? Oh yes, some shots of Craig transporting a bowl full of fiery logs from pit to stove. Warm that little house in the valley right up. We took a short trip to the Sugar Shack in the bush after Thanksgiving dinner was cleared from the table. I got wonderfully drunk off moonshine and took pictures of little with blinding flash. My kind of holiday. What else? An old room of mine, photographed. A guy leaning over a rickety light table, lovingly filling in all the engine parts of my moped illustration for a new stencil in the works. Do enjoy this mystery look into the striped life I lead.

Timeless! Our children's children will laugh at this someday.

Hot dish.

Sugar Shack innards. 

Almost normal.

Filling in the engine of my latest projection project called the Monza Babe.

Old room, wishbone.

We are okay. 

Beach Birds

Three beached birds at Bird's Hill beach. From left JJ, Lo and Madge of 2008. Photo. Cara Berndt

Justin & Britt

More from the wedding celebration of Justin and Britt. An assortment of my personal favorites from the print stack.

* 5x5 / 8x8" enlargements on Ilford satin paper. Printed from Tmax 400 :)