August 29, 2019

Dear Benny Bird

Benny 9.5 months cruising around the back yard on Home.

Yashica 72-E half frame goodness with 40+ year old colour film. WHY NOT eh? Pretty good!
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This morning you woke me up with your chuckling coming from the foot of the bed. Then it was the sound of your little hands whacking the bed situated on the floor. I am guessing you were feeling frustrated by the fact that you haven't figured out how to climb up yet. It won't be long. I rolled over and out of my nest and reached to grab your tiny diapered body. You grabbed my nose like a piece of low hanging fruit. Good morning to you too, boy! While you nursed, you warmed your cold hands up in my armpit and in that little pocket under the other breast. Smartie. Satisfied in the meantime, you left me and crawled from the bed onto the chest, onto a pile of books and pulled up to standing on the laundry basket. Impressive feat for seven in the morning. Grinning with pride four feet in the air, I hauled you down and we walked into the kitchen in search of coffee / bananas / slippers. Diaper, pyjamas, slippers. Fingers slipping through the handle of my favourite mug. Baby sounds. Ah Uh and then the sweetly whispered Ah babababa ma ba Tuh Huh uh.

Breakfast appeared: oats, blueberries, banana, yogurt. Fresh watermelon from Auntie Daryl, watermelon fairy. Your eyes twinkled at that sight. Your pajamas never to be the same again after that feast. Satisfied yet again, you banged your spoon on the table to let me know what was what until I washed you up and put you down on the cold floor. You zipped over to the pram waiting in the mudroom and yelled in short "uh" bursts until I came, donned my boots and packed you in for a stroll to the Tot Lot. You are a funny, determined little person Bernard. I like you so so much. I especially appreciate the look / side smirk you give me when I catch you doing something naughty and the way you hold all of your giggles in your belly until your dad magically gets them out and we delight in your delight for the billionth time. Time speeds on. Every day is a new adventure. More brave steps between A and B. My encouraging, outstretched hands don't cut it anymore. You want to do it BY YOURSELF. And so you do, exploring more of the house on foot every hour.

I just want to sniff your neck and kiss that juicy spot at the top of your shoulder and nibble on your ears and smooch your cheeks and feel your lips against mine and gently tug on the small thatch of hair at the back of your head with my lips all day long. But no, you are too fast, too busy to let me linger. Too much to see! And so I let you go, running, crawling, speeding, tumbling head first into this insane world. Okay! Bye bye! Have courage and know that your momma loves you!

Now you are sleeping and I am enjoying a cup of Rooibos tea in solitude while classical music drifts in from the kitchen radio. Oh yes, this week you have been working on your head-bopping rhythm when music comes on. Everyday something new. Everyday more love.

Love you forever my boy!

Mama

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Experimenting with sound in good company. July 2019

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