May 24, 2019

The Art of Growing

Six months old and experiencing a great love affair with Sophie the giraffe.

Yesterday while wheeling my boy carefully through the aisles of my local Foodfare, it hit me like a frying pan to the middle of the forehead: I am living my dream :) Just your average sunny May afternoon, grocery shopping in good company with a little creature who is now strong enough to sit in the baby seat of a shopping cart! WHAT?! How? Where did you come from Bernard? My little moon wisher. I am so in love with my boy.

This morning, much like every morning, Ni carried the little boy to our bed. Oh the feeling of his soft skin against mine first thing in the morn. It fills me right up. I love those little patting, exploring hands happy to yank fistfuls of my short hair or a lump of my cheek. That is my nose, those are my lips. That hurts mama when you pull my hair. Please be gentle. Gentle. Gentle. Gentle.

Benny is growing like a weed. The rate of his growth is so rapid I can almost see him morphing in front of my very eyes. Yesterday's giant pants are snug the next morning. HOW? Magic. I try to convince him that sleep is the answer. We grow while we sleep, you see. Imagine how you would grow if you slept all night?! Nahhh mama, I wouldn't dare miss one of our nursing dates in the old rocking chair in the dead of night. Okay kid, okay.

Last week we finally moved our bed out of the one bedroom in our apartment. Benny now has an enormous room to himself and that is just fine by me. We won't be in this home for much longer and we have to make it work for us while we are. And so the bed sits in the middle of the workroom. It was necessary to my sanity to put some space between the babe and I. Getting up five or six times a night to feed a six month old was starting to make me feel bananas. With the new routine and a door to close, we are down to one or two wake times. Suits me fine. Kid does his best work at night, so be it. His new room is a sweet butter yellow colour, freshly painted by his Auntie Frin and Granny KK; bless their souls. Those two powerhouses came over when I was at rock bottom, stripped of my sanity from a lack of sleep and hard work preparing the space for the shift. Erin kept telling me to go lie down but I am not one to lie down midday so easily. Too many things to do, read, cook, bake, eat, tend, mend! Anyway, as Bernard's room transformed I could feel a sense of hope beginning to rise within me. That very evening with the scent of fresh paint still lingering in the air, the members of this household commit to learning the art of sleep (and getting there all by one's self--with lots of encouragement, reassurance and check-ins). Harsh learning curve for tiny one. Still working at it but improving with each new morning! Since having a baby, the morning has taken on an entirely new meaning. Renewal! With the dawn comes hope for a good day. Here is to hoping anyway.

I don't know how to write anymore. Too many surges of love and energy being channelled elsewhere to focus on writing about the experience I suppose. I try to sit down with my journal on a weekly basis to pen little notes about Bernard's daily victories / battles :) and I refuse to feel guilty when I can't seem to get anything down. It goes. I can hardly believe our son is half a year old already. Yesterday while bathing him after a funny supper of observing Benny consume cucumber for the first time, it dawned on me how steady he was sitting in the tub. I have a kid who can sit in the bathtub. Wasn't it just yesterday that my lover was tenderly bathing him for the first time?!

Time is a thief! A cheeky, tricky, delightful thief. My boy is a sunny, mellow spirit (much like his dadda); happy to explore his world with his hands and mouth or to sit contentedly and watch the world roll by (much like his mama). Each new morning brings a new sense of wonder evident in those twinkling eyes of his. It is a delight to observe and even more delightful to be able to guide this child on his quest to know the world.

Here are some recent photographs from our little corner of the world. Enjoy!


Bea, Benny and Granny Kim chat at a party.
Benny at five months, hanging out at Granny KK's house.
B and his dad on a cool day in May.
Granny Kim love.
Airing out in the sun at home.
First time trying out a bottle, not as good as the real thing :)
Bernard and his Great Grandma Helen.
B and Grandpa Cal at Elliot's first birthday party.
Benny and Granny Tammy with Scarlett. Funny face considering how much he loves that pup!
Mom and flying boy!
Granny Tammy and B having a swing at the farm.
Uncle Milky and Benny.
Great Grandma love.
Beautiful boy, cozy in his pram.
Eating some pear at the kitchen table, waiting for dadda to come home.
Dadda came home! 

All photos shot on Delta 400 or FP4 film over the course of April and May 2019.

Canon AE-1
Kiev 60
Yashica 72-E

May 21, 2019

Found roll

Margot at the wheel. Photo by IDP.
Beatty-Pet's wandering the International Peace Garden.
Lush times.
Succulent garden.

Impressive geriatric cacti.
Grandpa Ed, Conrad with Arlo, plus IDP.
Beatty-Petkau clan.
Atlas and his uncle Iain checking out the map.
My work room in action.

Iain found a tiny pocket camera in his truck with a roll of colour shot over the course of two years. The majority of the roll was filled at the International Peace Garden near Boissevain, Manitoba. We visited this lovely garden in the summer of 2017 with the Petkau clan.

Kodak 400 colour