Sweet Surrender

There is something so peaceful about a sleeping child. Sweet surrender. My boy is currently snoozing on my childhood blanket draped over the brown wool rug in the front parlour. He rolled and tucked and played so hard he fell asleep in the process. Muted afternoon sunlight shines upon his round head. He is on his belly with his hands tucked under his chest. This is Bernard's preferred sleeping position at the moment. Sleep on boy. I am happy to take a moment to sit alone with my thoughts.

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Sweet sleeper under my most special blanket. 14 weeks old. February 2019.

Impromptu self-timer family portrait in the darkroom set up by IDP. February 2019

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Last night B and I were up together many times. Oh that nighttime dance we are learning so well. Closed eye navigation. He was wakeful and alert, I was in a mummified state. Those shiny black stones for eyes of his piercing me through the darkness. Mama, I'm here. Come scoop me up. I want to be closer to you than an I am. Ok little Bird, I am but an arms-length away but here I come. 

We rocked in the old rocker in the dark parlour and he nursed as much as he could handle and then some. Overfed and under slept never feels very life-giving, but there we were. That togetherness felt good in the dark. Tiredness schmiredness. Sweet, calm, gentle boy was content in my arms, upright. Alright. 

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Atlas on the frozen lake at Clearwater Bay, Ontario where his mama grew up. February 2019

Atlas, Benny in the bear suit inside my jacket and I on the lake on a beautiful Saturday.

Arlo observes her uncle and brother play in the snow.

Rebecca and little miss Evey.

Strollin' Clearwater Bay on Lake of the Woods with my people at four in the afternoon on a calm Saturday.

Arlo takes a load off.

Atlas' long limbs frame his sweet face. Six years old already!

Miss Evey girl.

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These photos are from a single roll of Fujicolour 400 run through IDP's Canon AE-1.

Winnipeg, Manitoba and Clearwater Bay, Ontario; February 2019