September 8, 2013

Reason to Believe

In my dreams last night, I saw Marj Heinrichs walk up to an open window across the room from where I was sitting in a busy cafe. There was no door to rush out of to embrace her after such a long time apart, so I ran to the window where she smiled radiantly. She reached into her linen jacket pocket and pulled out a dinky-toy from my childhood and placed it on the sill between us. It was a camper trailer with a hitch, no longer than my index finger. She looked right into me and said "You'll be fine wherever you go Megsy". Then she turned to leave and was gone without the slightest trace that she was ever there. I looked at that miniature trailer and suddenly it too vanished and all that was left was a word turning over and over in sleep-thought: HOME

Thanks woman, I needed that. Home is what you make it. Sign enough for me. You are missed daily/ hourly. Hard to believe we are nearing the third year without you. Grief never leaves those who experience great loss, it simply changes form. What I would give to crumple your green linen jacket with a strong hug today. Dreams will have to do. I haven't seen that crazy woman in my dreams in two years. This was the first dream I've had since she died that there was no water to be found. I wonder what that signifies?

Swim on hot fish. But come back soon.


  1. Thanks for writing this down, dear one. I needed a Marj story today, and this is one of the best I've ever heard.

  2. whoa so good sis. i needed this too. xo

  3. Thanks for the cubicle goosebumps this morning. I remember the feel of her strong hugs.

  4. OH man, Megan. This is beautiful. My Grandma visits me sometimes and it's always when I really, really need her. She leaves me with a message of hope and also a feeling of real, honest love.

    I am so happy that you were visited. It's a blessing.