February 19, 2015


Winter frozen in time on a cold day in January, 2015.  

Sometimes a gal just needs to lighten up, ignore the mountain of homework and complete a project that has been sitting in solitude for ages. This evening I put my energy into processing a few rolls of film. Winnipeg winters lend themselves well to the darkroom process. My negatives dried in a such a damn hurry after pulling them out of the deep that I could scan them just a few hours later. First for everything. I am getting to know my new darkroom. It's airy and vast for a basement. Smells of stones, mice and wet earth. Need another safelight and so forth; the list is endless really. And yet. And yet. Is it really endless? Hardly. The equipment is nearly all there, ready to rock n roll. Picked up some monster trays off a courteous neighbor a few weeks ago. Excuses excuses. No excuses. How I long to invest my time down there these days, breaking in the space with attitude, an apron and a backwards cap.

Come to think of it, there has been plenty of longing going on of late. Longing for a sense of home even though I have a roof over my head. Longing for a darkroom even though I am sitting right on top of one. Longing for the winter to end even though this is the time to keep the head down and push toward the academic finish line. By the time spring unveils herself, I will be nearing completion. Sell the moped to pay for school. Take a trip on foot instead. Margot, time to snap out of it.

Life is good. School is heavy though life is rich.

Thank the stars above for that Poolboy of mine who keeps the bath hot and his lady laughing.

So. Trying hard to adjust my ball-and-chain attitude toward school. The scholar in me rattles the cage, restless for release. Winter has settled like a heavy blanket and all I want is to free my feet. Thankfully I have access to two of the most lovely bathtubs in warm homes with candles and whiskey service to help maneuver through the long dark. This too shall pass. Slicing up cardstock into 5x5cm cards for school is some people's ideal. I need to quit winging and apply the lesson once and for all.


Why is this so damn hard? Why do I fight student-hood tooth and nail?

The photo above was shot on an old farmyard near Stonewall, MB. When I held up the negative to the light for a good first look, my eyes went straight to it. It sums up well the way this winter feels for me.

To complete my evening of rebellion, I plan on slipping into bed to read something totally unrelated to Montessori. Student rascal.

Adios all.

Kiev 60 / Tmax 400

1 comment:

  1. In times when you feel like school will never end, repeat "this too shall pass." Before long your program will be done. All you can do is accept that you are in it and before long it will be done. xox I believe in you bb!